Mommy Musing

It was so weird to have people say, "Happy Mother's Day" to me. Mother's Day always feels like a vain attempt to thank the woman who selflessly gave herself to raising my siblings and I. My mom deserves more than one day to know that we appreciate all she sacrificed for us. I struggle to imagine that I could ever be as selfless as her when it comes to raising my own children.

My mom still loves me even though I didn't let her sleep through the night until I was three years old. As a young adult living at home when I had insomnia, I would call to my mom in the middle of the night and she would come to me, sometimes rubbing my forehead until I fell asleep. My parents have always slept with their bedroom door slightly open in order to hear us kids if we needed them.

These are photos of me lying in a hospital bed. After long, grueling hours of labour, I had finally given birth to Levi. I hadn't slept in ages. My mom is leaning over me, rubbing my forehead and giving me a kiss. My eyes are closed and I remember feeling so at peace. Life had just burst forth from me. Life that I was responsible for. It was an overwhelming  and terrifying sensation yet I felt such security knowing that my mommy was by my side.

I can only hope and pray that I will have the same strength to be there for my children as my mom has been there for me.